Remote Island Paradise …

Remote Island Paradise

After years of hard work, an ambitious yuppie books himself on a Caribbean cruise. He has the time of his life until the boat sinks and he ends up on a desert island. A month later the man looks out to sea and sees a gorgeous woman rowing to shore. He asks her where she’s come from.

“I was shipwrecked last year,” she says. “I’ve been stranded on the other side of the island.”

“Where did you get the rowboat?”

“I made it out of gum trees and palm branches,” she replies.

“But you had no tools!” he says.

“I used volcanic rocks to whittle the wood, and eucalyptus jelly as glue.”

The woman takes the man to the other side of the island and leads him into an elaborate bungalow with ceiling fans and furniture she made out of vines. The man can’t believe his eyes. Theysit down, and she smiles at him. “Now, tell me,” she says, looking deep into his eyes. “Is there something you’ve been desiring while you’ve been alone? You know… ”

“Do you mean,” he whispers, “I can check my E-mail from here!?!”

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A biology graduate student wen…

A biology graduate student went to Borneo to take some samples for his thesis work. He flew there and found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site he where he would make his collections. On the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums.

Being a city boy by nature, the biologist was disturbed by this. He asked the guide, “What are those drums?” The guide turned to him and said, “Drums OK, but VERY BAD when they stop.”Well the biologist settled down a little at this, and things went reasonably well for about two weeks.

Then, just as they were packing up the camp to leave, the drums suddenly stopped! This hit the biologist like a ton of bricks (to coin a phrase), and he yelled at the guide, “The drums have stopped, what happens now?”

The guide crouched down, covered his head with his hands and said,“bass solo”

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Sexually Exhausted Jock

At a high school an English teacher is busy with work as a student approaches the teacher and asks when the test final test will be. She tells the whole class and a smart-ass jock raises his hand.

“What if that day I just stayed home because I was sexually exahausted?’’

‘’Well, I guess you’d just have to use your other hand to write with.’’

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